19:13:36 < Narrative> !logon TheChancesOfSomethingActuallyHappeningAreAsLowAsTheNumberOfGirlsWeveAllCollectivelyDated
19:13:47  * Narrative It is currently a nightday in the questionably canon bar.
19:14:01  * Shonikado is currently non-questionably existing in the questionably canon bar
19:14:12  * Shonikado chooses to express his existence in the form of sitting in a booth.
19:14:46  * Shonikado looks over his newspaper, teacup held in his spare hand
19:15:04  * Shonikado would have used coffee except we all know who sells the coffee around DownTown
19:15:06 <%Shonikado> *sip*
19:15:22 < Firebird> [What is this?]
19:15:24  * Narrative Shonikado has taken a sip of tea and recovered 5 hitpoints.
19:15:26 <%Shonikado> [me being bored]
19:15:31 < Narrative> [him being himself]
19:15:38 < Narrative> [also being me]
19:15:52 < Firebird> [Okay, I'll remember that]
19:15:58 < Firebird> [Shonikado == bored]
19:16:03  * Shonikado places his teacup down in order to fold his newspaper over to the sudoku section
19:16:14 < Narrative> [That opens up a lot of possibilities for connections]
19:16:25 < Narrative> [and what the hell it's brb time]
19:16:48  * Shonikado takes out a pen and becomes entirely focused on doing sudoku. The bar could crash and burn during the next X minutes and he would not notice.
19:16:49  * Shonikado 
19:22:49 *** Anja ~Anja@shacops-AAEA3F7.client.mchsi.com has joined #tcd2
19:27:13  * Shonikado puts his pen down.
19:27:15 <%Shonikado> DONE
19:27:22  * Shonikado takes out his stopwatch, looking at it
19:27:47  * Narrative You forgot to start it in the first place but if you hadn't you'd receive a record time of 11 minutes.
19:28:06  * Narrative Due to your forgetfulness you instead get a holy-shit-what record of 0 minutes.
19:28:08 <%Shonikado> ...
19:28:20  * Shonikado puts the stopwatch down, staring straight ahead
19:28:26 <%Shonikado> I
19:28:32 <%Shonikado> I can /control time/?
19:28:40  * Narrative Or you're really good at sudoku.
19:28:50 <%Shonikado> This is amazing I need to look into this
19:28:58  * Shonikado picks up his pen
19:29:09  * Shonikado drops it, trying to freeze time as it hits the halfway point.
19:29:41  * Narrative Shonikado believes so deeply in his newfound abilities that his brain freezes attempting to execute the necessary time-stopping functions required for suspending the pen in mid-air.
19:30:04  * Narrative For the next five seconds Shonikado's sight can only display the pen having fallen halfway. He does not hear it hit the table.
19:30:14  * Narrative Shonikado's brain begins functioning normally.
19:30:33  * Shonikado sees the pen spontaneously on the table after having defied gravity
19:30:35 <%Shonikado> ...
19:30:43 <%Shonikado> I HAVE BECOME ALL POWERFUL
19:30:50  * Narrative Or you're really good at sudoku.
19:30:56  * Narrative Wait that excuse doesn't apply here does it
19:31:07  * Shonikado hops up onto the table, grabbing his newspaper and rolling it into a ball
19:31:18 <%Shonikado> I should become a vigilante! I can use my powers for good to defeat bad guys!
19:31:28  * Narrative Yes and you already did just that as a /normal/ member of TCD
19:31:33 <%Shonikado> I will call myself
19:31:35 <%Shonikado> ...
19:31:43  * Narrative You get a burst of uncreative inspiration.
19:31:47 <%Shonikado> The /Stopwatch/.
19:32:12  * Shonikado hops off the table, heading over to the portal/broom closet
19:32:19  * Shonikado jumps up, opens the door and enters
19:32:28  * Narrative You encounter the portal machine, a few mops and a bucket.
19:32:55  * Shonikado takes the bucket, armed with goggles capable of engraving things with lasers
19:33:30  * Shonikado uses it to etch a picture of a stopwatch into the bucket
19:33:37  * Narrative You succeed. You have obtained a hat.
19:33:46  * Shonikado flips the bucket over, attaching wheels onto the underside and hopping in
19:33:51  * Narrative Or a vehicle.
19:35:04 < Firebird> [A+ so far]
19:35:07 <%Shonikado> now all I need is a single push and then to slow down time in order to get moving, as the lack of time flowing properly will reduce the rate at which kinetic friction is applied and will cause me to roll forward nearly indefinitely while traveling at breakneck speeds from the perspective of the average civilian
19:35:27  * Narrative Firebird's A+ is given to Shonikado in the category of physics because that is completely sound and logical
19:35:44  * Shonikado pushes on the doorway to get himself moving.
19:36:19  * Narrative Shonikado accidentally rolls over a bit of soap on the ground, causing his bucketcart to keep sliding with reduced friction.
19:36:26  * Shonikado rides for the front door
19:36:31 <%Shonikado> BRACE FOR SLOW MOTION IMPACT
19:36:41  * Shonikado shuts his eyes and holds his arms in front of his face.
19:36:59  * Narrative The door swings open.
19:37:01 *** Narrative is now known as Dirk
19:37:04 < Dirk> Hey has anyone seen m-
19:37:07 <%Shonikado> *bucket*
19:37:10 < Dirk> ...
19:37:13  * Dirk steps out of the way of the bucket
19:37:17 < Dirk> that's a no I take it
19:37:21 *** Dirk is now known as Narrative
19:37:26  * Shonikado opens his eyes.
19:37:31  * Narrative You survived the impact.
19:37:32 <%Shonikado> o/
19:37:40  * Shonikado keeps riding, off the edge of the sidewalk and into the street
19:37:50  * Narrative You are now in the street.
19:38:15 <%Shonikado> I think it is safe to stop here for now and look out for CRIMINALS
19:38:22  * Shonikado attempts to resume normal timespeed.
19:38:28  * Narrative You hit a rock and come to a halt.
19:38:38  * Shonikado hops out of his bucket, examining his surroundings.
19:39:27  * Narrative You are in the middle of the street. Behind you is The Crossing Daggers, door currently open - in front of you is the vampire bar, which you don't care about.
19:39:41  * Narrative To your left is more street, and to your right is also more street, as streets generally go both ways.
19:39:43  * Narrative Also, a car.
19:39:47 <%Shonikado> Hm.
19:39:51  * Shonikado examines the open bar door.
19:40:06 <%Shonikado> I must have only hit it hard enough to cause the hinge to break rather than the door itself.
19:40:16 <%Shonikado> That's good! As a hero collateral damage is something you should avoid
19:40:22  * Narrative Seriously car
19:40:34  * Narrative Beep beep honk honk driving down that street you're in the middle of
19:40:41  * Shonikado notices the car.
19:40:52 <%Shonikado> Hm!
19:40:55  * Shonikado examines the driver.
19:41:08  * Narrative The driver is driving a car what do you want from me
19:41:16  * Narrative Actually no it has tinted windows I don't want to come up with a description
19:41:27 <%Shonikado> Tinted windows! The sign of someone hiding something.
19:41:36 <%Shonikado> Hiding things! The sign of a CRIMINAL
19:41:57  * Shonikado holds his hand out, attempting to reduce the flow of time on the car to slow it to a halt.
19:42:38  * Narrative You come to the realization that you do not in fact have time powers and that the driver is too busy talking on the cell phone to notice the shonikado standing in the middle of the road.
19:42:45  * Narrative THE END
19:42:48  * Shonikado D:
19:42:53 < Narrative> !logoff